MorniNg inSpiraTion is daRk and inFrequeNT.
5/22/03
everyday is the same day
one very long day with naps
i wake up tired and agitated
all day forever
5/23/03
before i slept i regressed
the dark re-hatched
too angry to remember
too blind to think ahead
5/24/03
last night was poisonous
a sickness came over me
i attacked my unconscious body
i pay no mind till i awake sweating and shivering
compelled to visit an area for disposal of waste
i feel no better today, awake, poisoned drunk
5/25/03
on my best behavior last night
ever searching for a shinny new dimension of cool
a night less withdrawn from reality
to a morning much the same
5/26/03
my mind is a sick one
naughty, nasty dreams of subconscious infidelity
i won’t feel better about the hours of the day
i will spend before sleeping again
5/27/03
perhaps a third state called
the gray melt
a transitional period between awake and asleep
and vice versa
where in i wouldn’t even notice
the two exchanging control
5/28/03
how alarming it is to wake up
blank and weak
my mind and pulse
full and rotten
my bladder and breathe
5/29/03
all night dreams lie to me
i lie to me
till i cant trick myself anymore and i wake up
all day i don’t believe a thing i dreamt
or i don’t remember
5/30/03
if i was shook by a stranger every morning
if they left before i could make chase
if they left money where my alarm clock was
could i wake up quickly and forget the indiscretion
could i be angry with a stranger who never shows face
almost certainly
would monetary compensation create the proper atmosphere
for a calm transitional alarm
5/31/03
brain activity
a serge of electricity
your mind doesn’t rest
there is a constant impulse to do
whatever activity you are to do
my brain decides when i should wake
there is an impulse to wake
this impulse must summon all other surges of electricity
to accomplish its task
many channels converging into one large channel
then bursting out in one moment of displeasure
good morning
6/1/03
i have a reoccurring dream
it happens in a large empty wooden room
it is has very reflective surfaces that shine like polished wax
my father is standing in a far corner of the room
he begins to talk to me
i can see his expression well and his face seems relaxed
he isn’t saying anything that i can understand
but he makes gestures with his hands and face
and makes it seem like he is recounting a story or giving a direction
it is incomprehensible low mumbling
what is clear is a second voice
i am not sure if they are his thoughts or mine
either way these more decipherable words
join together in a series of fuck cunt piss whore shit ass cursing
that rants like an angry sailor with tourettes
it is not pleasant
and i dont want to think these things
but my mind is a voice in the choir
and its not the end of me
6/2/03
there is an impostor among us
a man who sleeps with his eyes open
and pretends to be alive
he is a nightmare unconscious
smashed to pieces
collected and assembled
he makes mischief
for evils sake
6/3/03
we ornaments of the fringe hold no fixture to solidity
instead we are confident in the unsure
allowing the mundane to disappear
causing the imaginary to materialize
surely some unkownings can be allowed
especially during intense acclimation
limitations can become evident
in your personal revolutions
but some agreement can be made
im sure
6/4/03
surprise
i come with detachable emotions
i am a zombie
displaying no human characteristics
other than appearance
my will is crooked and cold
a science without reason
6/5/03
this is a the dawn of the bottomless
evolved beyond dream
in elaborate combinations
never before thought possible
we are proof of a restless logic
you are here with me in a chaos of dna
a misguided blueprint
to present in an appropriate display
for others to gawk and point at un-knowingly
with crooked fingers gesturing
closed minds un-wondering