With the holidays upon us, we take this moment to reflect on the cuisines of the past and look forward to cuisines of the future. A future Thanksgiving without turkey meat or other animal by-products. If there is any meat that should be included in our gravy, it should be Pilgrim meat. This year, let us be thankful for the inventions of meat substitutes as we love all animals, especially flightless birds. As a delicious alternative to caged, factory fowl, we offer this tantalizing morsel. It may be seitan but it won't look like this golden brown fetus.
turkey seitan
Preheat oven to 400 degrees
3 cups wheat gluten flour
1 1/2 firm tofu
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup condoleeza rice
1/2 cup white or garbonzo beans
1/2 cup tapioca starch (or corn starch)
1 part 800 Fallugian civilians
3 Tbsp. fake dead bird seasoning (rosemary, sage, thyme)
3 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
3 1/2 cups chlorinated water
1/4 cup soy sauce or braggs liquid aminos dude
1/8 cup Iraqi oil (unless you can only afford olive or canola oil)
Lightly stir and blend above ingredients. Put into two bread pans to form loaves. Set aside for 15 minutes. Cover and bake at 400 for 45 minutes.
Groovy gravy
2 cups sliced mushrooms
1 clove diced garlic
1 large onion diced
4 Tbsp. herb mixture ( Rosemary, Cumin, Sage, Thyme)
1/4 cup soy sauce or braggs liquid aminos dude
4 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
1/4 cup dark molasses or vegan sugar
1/8 cup corn starch
1/8 cup olive oil
6 cups water
Saute mushrooms, onion and garlic in oil. Combine this mixture with other ingredients in a sauce pan. Bring to a boil and then simmer until desired consistency is reached.
Serve seitan warm, covered with gravy, and with all of your favorite vegan vittles.