The Bush Administration has developed a new approach to this election year. With polls already predicting that the nation wants to take a new direction from the previous four years, Project Terror has been assembled to keep citizens scared and paranoid that unpleasent things could happen at any moment in time. The administration stresses that without another 4 years, it will only get scarier.
President Bush, seen above with Vice President Dick Cheney & Attorney General John Ashcroft (left to right) are going to wear frightening Halloween masks until November 2nd to keep voters living in fear. "BOO!" shouted Bush from the rose garden earlier today, his hands raised in the air and his feet doing a little dance. "We're still working out the rough edges of the project." Karl Rove announced, "We're consulting with both psychologists and special effect masters from Hollywood in what we hope will be a tremendous boost to the president's campaign this summer." Donald Rumsfeld was at the premier of the new Dawn of the Dead in DC this week. He wanted the public to know that without a war president, the next four years could very easily be filled with cannibalistic zombies in our shopping malls. "John Kerry has never dealt with zombies before, at least Bush has some experience fighting terrorism. Successful as he may claim to be, Kerry probably doesn't even know how to kill a zombie," Rumsfeld told reporters at the premier.
John Kerry has yet to comment on Project Terror, but did tell an audience of college students in Madison, Wisconsin that he does know how to kill zombies. "All you need to do is stop the brain, that's how most of them keep going, one good shot in the forehead should do it." Kerry's campaign manager said they're keeping a close eye on how Project Terror will be received by the public.
"We've got a bulk of masks from last Halloween that we will use if we need to. We certainly don't want to come off as the candidate not interested in inciting fear in the mainstream culture of America." She added, "A vote for John Kerry will be a vote for continued fear mongering and terror fighting."
Bush addressing the troops at a port in San Diego, where after he left, the soldiers were sent to Haiti to fight "voodoo warriors."
It's too early to tell what effect Project Terror will have on this election year. It seems to be a risk the Bush Administration is willing to take. An amended budget plan will be sent to Congress next week, adding on 1.5 million dollars in "restoration fees" for the White House, which will be turned into the largest haunted house in the country. "We're sparing no expense at fighting and alerting the public to the terror." When asked exactly what "the terror" was, Bush changed the subject. "Nice one Skip, I've spoken with over 15 leaders of nations overseas and beyond our borders too, they all agree with me." Bush was quickly escorted away from the press and into his "Ghoul Mobile."